Dystonia Revisited

Once again I'm terribly troubled by this disease known as dystonia. It hurts so bad at times that it just shuts my entire body down. I went to Augusta, Ga. V.A. hospital last week to get the botox shots. They help but oh how they hurt. I guess I got about 20 shots in my neck, back and front and at the base of my skull. You talking about somthing that hurts badly, let a doctor stick a needle into what feel like pure bone, I know it's not that but it sure 'nugh feels like it.

It has my so sore that I can barely touch it but I just go along, because I know that once I stop and give in to it that, that's all she wrote, boy. I sure am not ready for that yet. Anyway, if I give in to this pain, I'll miss out on all the hugs that are given me at church, afterall, Eastside Baptist is sure 'nugh a hugging, and very loving church.

Also, this pain feels like it's pulling the muscles and it gets tighter and tighter. It feels as if my neck is shrinking, don't laugh, it really feels that way. I ask my husband several times if my neck is getting shorter. I don't know for sure if he's tell me the truth if by chance, it was getting shorter. I cannot move my neck at all, not from side to side or up and down. I just thank God that I'm able to hold it in a front facing position.

I really have to endure this pain and if not for the Lord Jesus, I don't know how it would be possible. I've tried all kinds of prescribed medicines of all strengths and nothing helps. The pain just stays, I do believe it likes me, ha ha. I've even taken Morphine in doses that would floor a normal person and Oxycontin, that also did absolutely nothing, nil, zero, zilch. It's really a "pain" to try and ignore all this pain but that's what I have to do or else it will destroy my life. I just refuse to let that happen to me afterall, the good Lord promised me at least 120 years of life and I intend to see most of them.

To compound this pain of dystonia there is this pain of arthrithis that's set up around the base of my skull. It's so bad combined with the dystonia that it wakes me up at night. It's hard to sleep anyway because I've got to lay mostly on my back because it hurts my neck to lay on either side. I was always a left side sleeper too, but when this disease got so bad, those nights were over.

Oh well, that's all I;ve got to say now so I believe I'll stop. May as well, I can't dance, private joke. But, I'm closing with this , I'll not give up or give in. My faith and my trust is in the Lord Jesus and HE will won't give me a battle that He won't go through it with me and He always provides a way out. Anyway, I've won, Jesus already defeated this dystonia and now I'm just biding my time. Praise the Lord. And devil, you had just better not stick your head out from under my foot, I would just have to stomp you good.